To Alienate or Not?

     As I have previously mentioned I run a bookstore.  This has one very amusing perk. . . I know your secret. . . I know what you're reading.  This years dirty little secret seems to be Fifty Shades of Grey.  This trilogy was fantastic for business.  It has even sparked a new sub genre called Romantica (not yet erotica but a touch dirtier than your average Harlequin).  As wonderful as it was for our bottom line it makes me want to weep for the state of literature.  My husband has told me to tread carefully here, not to bash a book that millions have flocked to read.  I say to hell with it! If one of the few folks that read this becomes that offended by my dislike of this book, well then okay.

     Where do I even begin?  I guess my major peeve with this is that it's fan fiction.  That's right, someone loved The Twilight Saga so much they wrote a porny version of it.  It doesn't have the same plot or vampires but it is common knowledge that the main characters (Anastasia and Mr. Grey) are Edward and Bella in human format.  You can think I'm a book snot and maybe I am but one redeeming quality of my reading habit is that I will try anything, I really don't have much shame.  I've read it all from cheesy romance to teen books to one of those ridiculous food mysteries.  So I read it.  I tried I really did but the writing is just plain awful.  It really is that bad.  There is the constant reference to Anastasia's inner goddess that by page 50 I wanted to put a ball gag in her mouth along side of Mr. Grey, and can completely understand why he wanted her to sign the dominate/submissive contract. . .  so he could tell her to shut up! I am completely aware that that I am in a minority here.  Trust me, I know.  I've sold it to old ladies, I've seen teenagers trying to read as much as they can before Mom comes to pick them up, and I've sold it to men who are hoping a light S&M book will get them laid by their ladies.  It seems to be a universal book, again I don't know why. 

     All that being said I do stand behind reading anything because reading is good for the soul.  So if this is what gives you your jollies then all the power to you.  But maybe, just maybe consider stepping it up a little bit next time.  Give Anne Rice's erotic fairytale series a try.  At least she can write and your damned sure there will be a decent plot.  Or if you're feeling very brave try my favorite spin off called Fifty Shades of Chicken which boasts an elegantly tied up roasted chicken on the cover and plenty of good recipes. That would be time better spent.